it's been a couple of years since i last read my previous journals(keeping them for moments like these) i have significantly aged... haha kidding. i thought it was really amazing that i "happened" to read my old xanga today. (inverted commas cos this isn't a mere coincidence) went for allsouls bible study today and what impacted me most(haha the whole prog is called impact, witty) was being really excited and thrilled for God. and my many years ago self is the epitome of that. i really couldn't recognise myself through those blog posts, it's like i'm reading some girl's life as a third person, and she's really really on for God, which makes me kind of... jealous hahaha... k not really jealous, more like envious. and encouraged too, to see such child-like faith, so close yet so far. so close cos it's personal, so far cos... it ironically doesn't feel like me, at all. so it gave me this weird feeling. and i'm abit embarrassed that i've had more than one post which go along the lines of 'ok i will start anew and this will hold me accountable' but i strongly feel that i've progressed thus far, maybe not in terms of starting anew with God but.. in other ways like growing in character and a deeper understanding of my mighty saviour. probably hasnt been the most ideal path to take, always going back to square one with my r/s with God, but i want to hold onto the belief that every step i take is what God uses to mould me and it is never wasted. i may have deviated somehow but it's just another, stormier, way to God. let me digress slightly: i watched "whip it" and "hanna" on the way to London abt 5 weeks ago and they really inspired me to be a stronger person, in general. mental, emotional, even physical.

i want to be a stronger warrior

is there, truly, much in little?

the penknife's missing in the house, SO... naturally it'd be my fault. really?

help me, my arms are open wide
i could be unraveling wherever i’m traveling, even to foreign shores
but i will always be emotionally yours
-Bob Dylan

"you can't always listen to your heart. now what does your head say?" that's quite true i must say...... but (there's always buts), the heart is easier to listen to, it's nicer to the ear.

traveling definitely beats the arriving

I love ACUltimate